“You’re Such A Guy”

While out at girls' night, I’d hear my friends complaining about how much their boyfriends wanted s.x or feeling a sense of a pressure to “put out,” even counting the days it’s been since the last time, asking if that’s too long to go in between. I was the odd (wo)man out with my love and enjoyment for s.x.

“You’re such a guy” my friends would tell me.

You see, it wasn’t typical in my friend group for the woman to be the one with an equal or sometimes higher s.x drive.

I used to pride myself on my high s.x drive.

I also used to pride myself on not taking hours to get dressed or putting on make-up, always being the first one ready to go out; sometimes even joining in on the complaints of the men with how long it would take women to get ready.

I used to pride myself on being even-keel in my emotions and lack of monthly mood swings that I would hear men complaining about in their partners.

I was priding myself on not succumbing to my feminine nature.

Feminine and masculine energy are within each of us, and typically we are dominant in one over the other– kind of like right/left handedness, you still have your other hand that serves great purpose.

The feminine is being, receiving, cyclical, emotional, and relationship oriented.

While masculine is doing, producing, linear, logical, and task oriented.

Recently I had a realization that shocked me to my core.

I thought feminine meant weak or less than.

There is so much conditioning & programming around what it means to be a woman.

I remember being 9 years old, watching a Gatorade commercial with Michael Jordan & Mia Hamm competing with “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better” playing in the background. A belief was built in me that day, that it was my duty to prove to the world that I was as good as a man and therefore a worthwhile woman.

It was my responsibility to be the messiah for all of womankind.

Women in the corporate world know the pressure of keeping up with male co-workers; not taking too long maternity leave, quickly taking the time to pump breast milk while multitasking– not to fall behind, not allowing your cycle to determine your state of being, not being the weak link… not succumbing the feminine nature.

Growing up in this era of “anything you can do I can do better” women’s empowerment & equality, is something that left me feeling like I needed to be equal to a man.

Recently it dawned on me: we are not equal and were never meant to be. <third climax>

Woah.

Equal means the same, we are not the same. We are different, and being different doesn’t mean better or worse than (how’s that for a novel concept).

In this patriarchal society, there’s a way the feminine has become shut down & hardened, viewed as physically weaker than and therefore less than. That was my belief for my entire adolescence and early adulthood.

As I have softened into receiving & being in-tune with my cyclical and emotional feminine energy, I’ve been feeling so much more aligned, vibrant, in-tune with my body and with nature… at peace.

My heart is opening, which is super uncomfortable, scary, and, well, that’s a story for another time.

No longer “such a guy” I now see that there’s strength & extreme value in the feminine and redefining what it means to be a woman. A time and a place for both the masculine & the feminine. Neither is better or worse, they are simply different.

Different and uniquely gifted. We need each other and that’s a truly beautiful thing. Does this mean women are not strong and capable? Absolutely not. Does this mean life is easier when we lean into our gifts and ask others to support us with theirs? ABSOLUTELY.

It’s time to lean into your feminine gifts, the world needs you.